President Obama today announced that the US would provide new
homelands for the nine most climate-change endangered island nations in
the world (see table below). Here is part of the text of the
president's speech:
These nine
nations, with a total land size of 1300 square miles (almost the size of
Yosemite National Park, 4/5 the size of Rhode Island, and 2/3 the size
of Anchorage, Alaska) with a total population of just under 900.000
(less than 1/3 of one percent of the US population), are severely
threatened by sea level rise caused by global warming.
These
are independent nations whose very existence is threatened by changes
in the world's climate caused, in large part, by the side effects of our
great prosperity. We have a moral obligation to the people of these
nations, an obligation to assure them that the world will not only find
space for them to live, but will also respect their cultures and
sovereignty.
There are many different ways the world
can react to the crisis faced by these nations. The world has shown,
time and again, its generosity to nations suffering from natural
disasters. But the nations of the world often take a long time to come
to agreements to assist in human caused disasters. Thus, today I am
guaranteeing that if, by 2020, the United Nations or other international
bodies have not found a fair and suitable way to relocate these
nations, the United States will find federally owned land in the United
States. The people of each nation must decide whether they want to
remain sovereign nations or not. If they do, they can have the same
status US Indian tribes have as sovereign nations within the United
States.
These are just the nine nations most
immediately threatened by climate change. I am taking the lead today in
this, in hopes that other nations will quickly line up to assist the
other nations that will face climate change related disasters later."
The president of the Maldives sent an official thank
you letter after a cabinet meeting in their under water chamber. Other
island presidents praised Obama for his humanity and foresight.
Republicans
in the House and Senate were quick to blast the president. Former
Canadian citizen Ted Cruz blasted the president for proposing to bring
more immigrants to the US before solving the existing immigration
problem.
He went on to say it was totally unnecessary anyway:
"The last 15 years, there has been no recorded warming. Contrary to all
the theories that – that they are expounding, there should have been
warming over the last 15 years. It hasn't happened,"
House Speaker John Boehner found the idea of giving federal land to foreigners outrageous.
"That land belongs to the states it's in."
Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell was nearly unintelligible, his face red and contorted, as he listened to the speech.
"Half those lands are former British colonies. Let the English take them in."
In response to reporters' questions about his critics' charges, Obama said,
"The
United States is also a former British colony, and few of us would
choose to go back to Great Britain. And yes, there are low lying US
cities that are threatened, like Manhattan and Miami. We will help New
Yorkers cope as their island goes underwater. Remember, too, they are
United States citizens who have the right to move anywhere in the US.
However, we are certain that Floridians, whose governor has banned the terms climate change and global warming,
will trust that Governor Scott will also ban climate change itself. We
will, of course, send scuba gear for residents, just in case their
governor's voodoo doesn't work.
All
of the critics of this policy are also strong supporters, as am I, of
Israel, a country that was created in the Middle East, at a time when
the Jewish people faced the possibility of extinction. If we can ask
the people who were living in what now is Israel to share their land,
surely Americans can share a tiny fraction of our land with these tiny island nations."
Three
law suits have already been filed in federal courts
challenging the president's power to carry out any of these promises.
For the president's complete speech and Republican responses,
click here. For people who wish to know more about this issue,
here is a report I've found since writing, but before publishing, this post.
Almost as good BBC 4 this morning, Steve! Good chuckle.
ReplyDeleteThe best April Fool's offering yesterday anywhere. And the best again today and every day forward as that acorn of truth turns into a giant oak. Where are the giant mangroves when you need them! Guam, the new Atlantis. South Florida, Key West, just Margaritaville memories.
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