Monday, September 26, 2016

Understanding Trump Voters: Look At Advice On Why Women Choose Bad Boys

For some Trump supporters (as it was with some Obama supporters) this is more like a romance than an election.  So I thought it might be helpful to go to some advice on relationships for help understanding at least a portion of the Trump supporters.  

Financial Samurai had a post on "Why Do Women Go Out With Deadbeat Losers?"
My theory is that in the beginning, most women don’t know the guy is a deadbeat loser. He probably is reasonably attractive and tells a good story about his current situation and his ambitions. Obviously, he will be on his best behavior during the wooing process. It might take one week, or it might take many months, but until a consummation is made, guys can be very charming! By the time a woman hooks up with the guy, only afterward will she see his true colors. 
Quora had a forum that asked: "Why is it that girls often choose the wrong guy as their boyfriend, although the right person always stood by her?"  I'd note that many assumed the question was from the 'right person' and challenged his perception of who was the right guy.  But there were others who assumed girls do often pick the wrong guy. Here are a few excerpts from some of the responses:

From Luis Garcia on Quora:
  • When they are teens, girls aren't mature enough to make good choices, so they get impressed by superficial things, like a car or an expensive date. 
  •  Teens are much more affected than mature women by hormones. So they go for the wrong guy just because they're more physically attracted to him. 
  •  Teens are rebellious, and girls might go out with the wrong guy precisely because they're parents told them that he is the wrong guy.  [I think this may explain a lot of Trump supporters]
  •  Teens are subject to peer pressure, so they might go out with the wrong guy just to be seen as "cool" by their peers.

From Anonymous on Quora:
"Humans tend to be attracted to status, which has to do with hierarchy and not morals.  Although we should base our choice of mates on their ability to do right by us,  most people cannot help but be swayed by public opinion or social status.  Maybe it is ego and maybe it is an instinctual search for a stronger gene pool.
Here are the high-status indicators that will trump good morals almost every time:
  • Acting like you are good at doing things.
  • Acting like you know what you are doing.
  • Acting like you are not afraid.
  • Acting like you know important stuff.
  • Acting like you have or will have money.
  • Good social skills.
None of these indicators in any way relate to being a good romantic partner, but these are the standards which many people use.  The real question may be:  Why would a person imagine they could achieve happiness with someone who chooses status over substance?"

Peter Kemau on Quora:   (He even takes the dynamic to the political realm.)
I'm going to assume that the wrong guy here is the infamous  "bad boy" character. If you really think about it, it has to do with instinct. For women with no experience of a bad relationship, the allure and charm of the bad boy is irresistible. There is something about someone who has confidence, arrogance and an outgoing attitude. Most politicians do, that's why they are able to mass-seduce,  spiritual/religious leaders too. They can make most people believe in them even though their intentions are not particularly honest. 
 Aysha Griffen on Quora offers a different insight:
Often, we are attracted to those who can help us heal a deep childhood wound by letting us play out a similar dynamic, in the hope of redeeming it. This is all unconscious, and usually ends in us rewounding ourself because no one can give us the love or make up for the wounding, except our own conscious self-love. 

Wintery Knight takes what he calls a Christian look at why women choose weak men.  Good Christian men, he posits, will require more from their mates.
"Sometimes a really good man places moral and spiritual obligations on a Christian woman that require her to improve and grow, in order to help him with his life plan. Also, men flourish when a woman encourages him, recognizes him, supports him in his male roles. A good man who has definite ideas on what counts as good behavior may expect more from a woman, and those moral obligations can get in the way of her selfish pursuit of happiness."
So the women fear they won't live up to his expectations, according to Wintery Knight, and they'll be abandoned.  Thus weak men are a safer choice because they are easier to blame and control.
"Let me explain some other reasons why a Christian woman might prefer to have a weaker, non-Christian man: 
  1. A woman may prefer to blame a man in order to rationalize her selfish actions, and an immoral man is easier to blame. 
  2. A woman may prefer to blame a man in order to punish him for some real or imagined crime, and an immoral man is easier to blame. 
  3. A woman may want to avoid moral obligations to a man, and a weaker man is easier for her to control. (e.g. – using pre-marital sex in order to avoid having to love a man self-sacrificially) 
  4. A woman may need to avoid being judged or led morally by a man, so she prefers a man who is weak at morality and moral reasoning. 
  5. A woman may need to avoid being judged or led spiritually by a man, so she prefers a man who is weak at theology and apologetics. 
So, it’s not that the poor, sweet, innocent women are helpless victims of nasty, evil, brutish man-beasts, at all. Far from it. Some of them DELIBERATELY CHOOSE to pass up the best Biblical Christian men, because they fear rejection or moral judgment or loss of control, and/or they want to avoid moral obligations to men that may interfere with their selfishness."
We've all known people who hooked up with the wrong romantic partner despite all the warnings from their best friends.  It sort of feels like that with Trump supporters.  The more you point out his flaws, the stronger they defend him.


  1. It's interesting that the analysis you reached for is so gendered, considering that Trump's support is heavily skewed in the opposite direction. What female base he has is largely older women. Women aren't supporting Trump because he's a "bad boy." People of all genders are supporting Trump because they like what he says. That's the problem we should be addressing.

    I get that you're using relationships as a metaphor for politics. The underlying image of your metaphor, however, is "Why are women so dumb/superficial/easily seduced?" I have a real problem with that and I hope you do too. Why not compare this to people buying cars? or lottery tickets? or joining cults? or *anything* that doesn't start by insulting women? The problem here isn't women. It's a culture that encourages even thoughtful, feminist men like you to reach for sexist imagery.

  2. Yes, Trump is just barely leading among white, Republican men. In every other demographic, he is far, far behind Clinton. Women support Clinton 59% to Trump (35%). That is a 24 point lead. Every other demographic groups shows an even bigger point lead for Clinton.

    So this sexist blog post is beside the point. The real question is: Why do white Republican men feel so differently from the rest of us (white women, black women, Hispanic women, black men, Hispanic women, nearly all democrats, etc...)
    - M

  3. Source:
    - M

  4. Replies
    1. Thanks! It's nice to know you're listening and thinking...

  5. Well, that was interesting. Steve. I was working on a post and you uploaded a new piece -- and my words were erased. Oh well.

    Just going to say that Steve's regular readers might note that he uses material from "Wintery Knight" a self-styled warrior for Christ (as his publicity puts it).

    I would think wit sometimes fails him as it does us all. I'll let the sexism charge pass this time.


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