Tuesday, August 02, 2016

The Trump Shooter Network

[Note:  In a USA Today interview, Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau, when asked if Trump was easy to satirize, responded:
"Quite the opposite. As has been widely observed, Trump is beyond traditional parody. His demeanor, speech and behavior are so over the top, there's no point in trying to exaggerate it"
This post is a response to that challenge.]

The Trump Shooter Network 

Confidential sources high in the Trump business empire have leaked to us news about a new cable channel that will begin airing in early October called "The Trump Shooter Network."

The network will feature the latest shootings from around the world, but with a focus on the USA.  Aside from "Breaking Shooting News,"  the network will have daily programs on mass shootings, terrorist shootings, robbery shootings, gang shootings, accidental shootings (particularly those involving children),  suicide shootings, and shooting games.
There will also be a program of  best home video of shootings.
Mass shooting anniversaries will be celebrated.
There will also be features on the lives of shooters and their victims.  And detailed reports on the specific types of guns used in shootings.

The network will have a mass shooting calendar so that mass shooters can plan their activities on days that don't have other mass shootings.

Subscribers to the Shooter Network will automatically be enrolled in the NRA and will be eligible for  steep discounts at gun shops and gun shows.

They can also sign up for gun buyers' pre-check so they can always use the fast line when purchasing weapons.

When asked about whether the timing of the debut of this network was aimed at affecting the election, our source said, "Actually, Trump's presidential run was timed to support the rollout of the network."

A spokesperson for the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence said they were hopeful the channel would make it easier to track gun violence data.  An NRA rep told us the channel would help Americans understand the danger all around them and the need to arm themselves.  And a staffer at Negative Population Growth, lamented that this was the natural outgrowth of too many people fighting for finite resources.  

Media reporter Brooke Gladstone didn't think the channel would be a big deal, "After all, the mainstream media are close to doing this already."


  1. You are brilliant.
    Better than Onion.
    Hope he doesn't see this, as I wouldn't be surprised if Trump steals to use for his business plan for such a network (if he weren't bankrupt again as this is why is won't release his tax returns...?).

    O/T -- 96 days left to election, but how long until he gives the finger to Hillary, not at a debate, as he won't be doing those, because rigged. I predicted this weeks ago, but that's not hard with him. Sad.

    Seen this?

  2. If you're going to write stuff like this, you've got to install a Twitter button!

  3. Geo, put on your glasses and look carefully. There is one. :)


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