Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance.
Five Stages Of Grief
1. Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
2. Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
3. Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
4. Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
5. Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss. From Memorial Hospital in Towanda, Pennsylvania
If you listened to Vic Kohring's statement in court or the videos in an earlier post today (be sure to link to the AlaskaReport video as well), it's clear, as Myster remarked in a comment to that post, that Kohring is in denial. He did nothing wrong except trust friends who betrayed him. He's also in anger as well, though he covers that well. I suspect that he learned as a child to speak softly and not show his anger. One day he may just explode.
I believe Kohring. Not that he's innocent, but that believes that he is. Of course, I can't tell for sure if he's not quite as bright as most people, or he's incredibly calculating. My guess is the former. He's the legislator who pledged never to raise taxes and then kept that pledge, even if it didn't make sense and was willing to vote for a tax if they changed the name to a fee. That sort of rigidity seems to reflect a mind that doesn't deal well with subtleties.
I've also encountered a lot of people whose minds are compartmentalized. They don't see the big picture. Thus, if Vic fits that category, he can't quite comprehend how the money he got from his good friend Bill Allen was related to things he did for Bill Allen. After all, as Browne said over and over in court and Vic too, he was always willing to help anyone. I seem to recall that Tom Anderson's lawyer also made the case that Tom was always willing to help.
A couple of quick points to put his appeal into perspective.
1. One point in the appeal is that the search of Kohring's office was illegal. Browne filed a long motion on that before the trial. Here's the prosecution's response to that, and in the post there's a link to the original motion. The prosecution blows his arguments out of the water. And when it came time to cross exam Agent Vanderploeg who did the original interview while other agents searched the office, Browne only asked a few questions, but nothing about the legitimacy of the search itself. He didn't most of the issue that he raised in the original motion. But one part of the motion to have Kohring on bail awaiting appeal (which the judge denied) was based on a case in which the authorities searched a house saying they had a warrante when they didn't. That wasn't the case here, or if it was, Browne didn't bring that out in court.
2. The focus on Kohring's statement was that he couldn't get a fair trial because the judte was married to Kohring's worst enemy. We've discussed that here before. In the video in the previous post and Dennis Zaki's video linked there, Browne also raises this and gets angry when he's questioned. (He also chewed out Bill McAllister (I think it was Bill) in a very mean-spirited diatribe at the coffee stand in the cafeteria.) A few points on this:
a. It appears that while Kohring did try to combine Debbie Sedwick's department with another, that she did not lose her job, and that as a professional, she understood this to be political and not personal. I'm guessing there never was a feud until it became convenient for the defense.
b. Her name is Sedwick. The judge's name is Sedwick. There are four Sedwicks in my Anchorage telephone book. This is not a common name. If this feud had been such a big deal, if she really was one of his worst enemies, then surely Kohring would have noticed the name and made inquiries before the trial. The judge had no obligation to say anything if he didn't know there was a feud. It was only at the very end of the trial that this came up. Browne and Kohring said they didn't bring it up earlier because they had no idea of the relation. I can accept that for Browne, but not Kohring, if in fact she was one of his worst enemies.
I mention these two, because they are fairly easy to discuss. But my sense is this is the depth of all the other stuff.
The real question now is about money. Vic says this all cost him half a million. So
1. Who's paying for his back surgery?
2. Who's paying for his appeal? It's hard for me to believe that Browne is the type of attorney who would get involved in his client's plight and do this pro bono.
I've got to run.
Vic lost any respect that I had for him in the past few months.
ReplyDeleteYESTERDAY was shameless. He went out of his way to look bad with the shaggy haircut, "Look at me! I'm so pathetic!" His lawyer-- OMG-- his lawyer said that he hitch hiked to court. Steve, he has friends out here. Trust me, Vic has friends. The Old Guard is in denial about this whole mess and won't drop it. He could have gotten a ride to town with someone and even a haircut. Alice Massie would have given him one if he'd asked her, I'm sure. Yes, she'd have tongue wagging rights, but he'd have looked decent.
What kind of a lawyer tells his client to look bad?
Why was the judge so nice to him? I had a custody judge jump all over me for going into early labor and he condescended to me about my fragile health-- how did Vic get only 3 years after the grief he gave? (I NEVER spoke ill of the courts to my kids-- EVER. "Well, we have the finest system in the world. We'll beat this!")
Tom has class-- initially he was upset because of how things had seemed to run in the past, but he was caught and got over it. Vic is going to be a rain cloud down there at Sheridan, woe is him, poor Vic-- instead of saying, "I have something I have never had! Time!"
I'm not sure if I want to slap Vic for being such a jerk or his parents for raising that and seeing to still be encouraging it. We watched the news last night and I scolded my children, "You will not act like this EVER." We talked about holding your head high, loosing with grace and still plowing through.
Vic wants to look pathetic. This is like my ex husband after I left him and he didn't shave and got fat, "Look what you've done to me!"
IOKIYAR
ReplyDeleteSteve-- what do you know about that car accident that Browne said he was in with Vic? I was surprised that that wasn't covered in the paper. Wouldn't that have been news?
ReplyDelete