Friday, November 04, 2011

Why Don't Kids Tell Their Parents They're Being Bullied?

On this video clip, Brent Scarpo explains what people should  expect when they come to his presentation Monday night.  It's brief, but he mentions 20 signs that your child is being bullied - one of which is why they don't tell their parents.  He also talks about how he interacts with the kids.  He says he's gives them permission to say what's really on their minds and then he listens. He'll also cover cyber-bullying.

So listen to the video [the synch at the end got messed up when I uploaded it to YouTube, sorry]and come see him in person with your questions Monday night at 7pm at East High School auditorium.  It's FREE. 

There's also still room in the Tuesday night workshop - it's $50.  See more at the Healing Racism website. 

The video is from a skype interview I did with Brent October 25.  There's a previous video on why he went from being a casting director for films like the Shawshank Redemption to making his own anti-hate movie and making personal appearances like he's going to do next week in Anchorage.


  1. Steve-- my kids are nice kids and they didn't tell me that they were being bullied because I would do something. My husband puts me down and says I over react-- he doesn't want to deal with it because he is more diplomatic.

    One of my daughters was getting harassed even as we chatted in the kitchen and I had no clue until the guy who was bugging her threatened her boyfriend and she was mad that his parents were not mad. (Forget that she has younger siblings and I am alone all day and should be told things. Her boyfriend was in danger! And his parents didn't CARE!)

    Another son leaked something to me and I wanted to do something and my husband said no, he told me that I over-reacted to everything, that I should "let the boys be boys" and the next day, my son was suspended where had the principal known what was up, his staff could have prevented the problem by merely looking out for what was going on. (My husband will so never live this down! NOW I am over reacting to him. I'm going to be mad for a long time over this.)

    What is working to stop the bullying is getting these kids into charter schools and home schools for high school. The districts really need smaller schools so that the administration can focus on education. We are very fortunate that I am able to take this time to spend running them around. I am up to my eyeballs in college debt but it is best for them that I be home to help them.

    When it comes to dealing with school administration, I have found that it is 50/50 in the Valley. They often take the path of least resistance. Parents know their kids and they have to ask them in a non-stressful environment. When my son got suspended, a mom friend who is a school psychologist told me to go listen to what the VP had to say, then in private ask him what had happened. She told me, "You know your son better than the vice principal. Watch his body language and remember that he may have a bit of post trauma stress from the fight." I got him to my car and asked what happened and he was shocked that I cared-- he passed on the body language, then I over heard him talking to his friends on the phone and it was the same story. His version was different from the VP's so I called her and left an urgent message and SHE didn't call me until the last day of the suspension and she didn't know why I was mad. (I had canceled my work for the time of the suspension so he wouldn't be watching videos and I WORE my celly so I could take her call to discuss how to proceed with a punishment.) I took my son out of her school-- she said that I was over reacting by withdrawing him, that we could work it out if only I'd talk to her, but the time had passed. (Do you see a pattern here? I'm just a hysterical idiot.) but the other kid has since been suspended for more fights and my kid is making straight A's and is loved in his new school by teachers and other students. If he keeps up his work, he will go to high school having completed freshman English, Math, and another subject.

    The principal of his new school said that most kids will perform well when they don't have to worry about getting beat up.

  2. Well, I have always been a person who tells things when they are asked. :D At least usually.


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